Sure! Here’s a 500-word humorous and lighthearted version of the phrase:
Alcoholism Test: If the First Thing You Notice Is the Wine, You’re an Alcoholic 😂❤️
Let’s be honest—how many times have you seen one of those visual puzzles online where you’re supposed to find hidden objects, and all you see is a glass of wine? No? Just asking for a friend. Welcome to the most unofficial, totally non-scientific, slightly cheeky “Test for Alcoholism,” where the only question is: Did you spot the wine first?
You’re scrolling social media, minding your own business, and BAM—a mysterious image pops up. There are trees, shadows, maybe a few people, or a house in the background. But your eyes? Laser-focused. Wine. That beautiful glass of red (or white) is just sitting there, front and center. Your brain doesn’t even register the rest of the picture. It’s like the wine called your name. If this is you, congratulations… You might just be a certified connoisseur… or, well, let’s say, enthusiast.
No judgment here. In fact, you’re among friends. Wine has been around for thousands of years. Ancient Romans practically bathed in it. The French turned it into an art form. You’re just keeping the tradition alive! But still, for the sake of reflection (and a little fun), let’s break down a few “warning signs” from this ultra-sophisticated test.
- You associate every holiday with a bottle.
New Year’s Eve? Champagne. Christmas? Mulled wine. Arbor Day? Sure, why not—it’s green. - You know your wine regions better than your geography.
Bordeaux? Got it. Napa Valley? Dream vacation. Where’s Moldova? Um… Is that near a vineyard? - Your fridge has more wine than food.
Priorities. Who needs leftovers when you have a crisp Chardonnay waiting? - You “taste” wine like a pro at every dinner.
Swirl, sniff, sip… then say, “Mmm, notes of oak, berry, and ambition.” - You noticed the wine glass in the picture before the actual puzzle.
Yep. That’s the clincher. That tiny hidden detail, missed by most, stood out like neon lights to you. It whispered: “Hey. Over here. Let’s party.”
Now, before we start diagnosing anyone based on a meme, let’s be clear: this is all just for laughs. Real alcoholism is a serious condition that affects millions of people around the world. If you or someone you know is struggling with drinking, it’s always okay (and brave!) to reach out for support.
But if you’re simply someone who appreciates a good glass of wine—and happens to have X-ray vision for spotting Merlot in an image—you’re probably not an alcoholic. You’re just someone with refined taste… and a little too much time online.
So the next time you take one of these silly “tests” and the first thing you spot is a wine bottle, raise a glass to yourself. You’re observant, cultured, and maybe just a touch thirsty.
Cheers! 🍷😂❤️
Would you like this in Slovenian too?
